This weekend I tried to come to the cafe and crushcakes and pretend I was a tourist. I wanted to see my restaurant from the eyes and ears of my customers. Hear the music, taste the food, sit at a table amongst the other customers and act like I had nothing to do with the creation of this place from start to finish. This is a lot harder to do then it sounds.
When you enter into your own restaurant, there is a natural instinct to want to work. To pick up a dirty dish from a table, to answer a customers question you hear being asked, to run the food you know is waiting to go out to hungry guests. It is almost impossible to sit and do nothing when you know there are so many things to do. Its even more difficult when you see your employees making dumb errors and you feel paralyzed to do anything about it because 1) the customer would most likely be thinking, who the hell is this stranger bringing me napkins and silverware or 2) you will embarrass your friends who only agreed to go to your restaurant with you if you could just sit and relax, or 3) you will piss off your employee who is working just so that you can have the day off. You have to weigh all of that out before you decide to stand up from your table and do something.
The worst is when you actually schedule yourself a day off, which is rare, and you look forward to it all week, and then you end up having to work last minute because an employee is so late to work your restaurant isn’t open on time or an employee calls in sick because she had a tooth pulled and cant function without vicadin. Just the other day, when I was thrilled to start my weekend as a tourist, I decided to call in and check on the staff. It was 8:30, a half hour after they were supposed to open. No one answered the phone. I called again, no answer. One more time, 3 times the charm, no such luck. With that, I raced from my kids school where I was dropping them off and realized that I had to open the restaurant myself. Luckily I wore sweat pants that morning rather then the flannel pjs that I wanted to throw on. Just as I was getting to Crushcakes, so was my employee. There was so much I wanted to say to her, ranting and raving, all of which would have done no good at that moment other then make me feel better, but again realizing that without her I would be stuck working all day in my sweats and flip flops.
Although my weekend started a little chaotically, it ended well. I was able to sit through an entire lunch at Crushcafe without getting up to do anything other then refill my own drink. And the food was amazing, as was the service and cozy atmosphere. I think I’ll go back again…
peace.love.food.
SL
If my employees had any idea of how much they meant to me, they would all be plotting against me right now to hold me hostage for raises. When you work in a restaurant, there are those you can live with and those you can live without, but then there are those employees you can barely survive a day without. Those are the ones I dream about at night.
The restaurant business is more then just a job for most of us. It is our passion, our social life, our friends, family, drama, love, hate, exercise, therapy, our everything. My customers and employees get to spend more time with me then my kids do. They see me everyday, and usually in my best form. Not the moody girl that just needs to rest and relax when I get home. Its unfortunate but true. When I was in my early 20’s, I was told by an older and more experienced restaurant owner that you can never leave a restaurant alone, no matter how much you trust the people you work for, it must be well tended at all times. I believe that is true to some extent. I have hired people that I trust almost more then my own kids (they love to swipe all the silver from my bowl on the dresser each night). I consider the people who work for me to be the best of the best. They are people I enjoy being with each day. They are people I love to laugh with, share my thoughts with, toss ideas around with, and have our ups and downs with. They are people I spend at least 6 days a week with. But I know that on that one day off they are not going to swipe all the silver (or green for that matter) from me the minute I turn my back.
But here is the deal, I worry about my staff. They work so hard, most times 6 days a week and sometimes 7. What if something happened to one of them? Car accident, knife to the finger, drowning, or they just find a better paying job. There are a couple employees that if they ever decided to leave, for any reason, I am pretty sure I would just die. Like I would instantly just roll over into fetal position and start crying. I have dreams about it happening. Dreams of injuries or the, “I need to talk to you” conversation where they end up quitting. And thats when the crying begins. I have actually dreamt that my employees cut off fingers, a blade hits them in the head, they get stuck in Mexico and can’t come back. Every time I wake up screaming or crying or wondering if I will ever see that person again. I am not sure if this is common or if, in fact, I am just a freak.
A friend of mine who used to work here told me that my biggest problem is that I cannot separate my business from my personal life. But the thing is, this business couldn’t be more personal for me. It is my dream. It is my wedding ring, my 401k, my savings, my line of credit on my home, my maxed out credit card. It is the thing I think about when I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up. How can I make it better? What new and different specials can we create? What cupcake haven’t we tried yet? So this business couldn’t be more personal for me. But I think that’s why the food is so damn good here, because when its only business you don’t care as much. You know that you can just walk away. I will never walk away, this is it for me. And that is why my staff mean so much to me. They are the ones I choose to surround myself with day in and day out. And I think they know it because what they do here and the love they put into our food shows through each and every day.
So go ahead and try to corner me for more money guys, you might just get some silver from the bowl…
peace.love.food.
SL
I have often commented on how people can come into Crushcakes and its as if they have entered into another world. A world that is happy and content in its sweet and creamy deliciousness. A place where nothing else matters but the cupcakes that are calling to them, hypnotizing them into forgetting that anything else has ever existed but these luscious cupcakes that all must be eaten by them. You can see it when their eyes glaze over as they stare at the swirls of frosting, so many different flavors and colors, but how are they to choose???
This was how I felt last week when the second fire in 6 months broke out in our city. The first day of the Jesusita fire started out slow but then day 2 all hell broke loose. And day 2 I was completely oblivious to what was going on outside our doors. I was in Crushcakes and the Cafe all day, happily surrounded by cupcakes and yummy food, refusing to leave even just to go to the bank. The World of Crushcakes and the Cafe is my world and I am most content while in it.
Late that afternoon I was at the counter talking to a customer, a good regular customer. Her and her husband eat at the Cafe often and have our cupcakes at many of their events. These are the kinds of customers I would do anything for, the ones you know you can’t live without. She had several events going on which required cupcakes and we were excitedly picking out flavors, sizes and colors, completely oblivious to the winds picking up just outside our door. One moment everything was quiet and then this wind gust swept in so fast that our awnings began to rattle as if they were going to fly off. A stack of napkins just picked up on their own accord and blew away. Tara, the front cupcake girl on duty for the day, ran out to catch our sandwich board as it began to roll down the street. She came back in shouting, “There are tumbleweeds going down the street! I mean actual tumbleweeds! Where did they come from??” That was a great question, but one that we couldn’t investigate at that moment, as the wind, ash and bits of burned tree limbs were now rushing into the store. A neighbor busted in the front door and screamed, “You have to get out, this whole area is being evacuated!” My customer and I looked at each other and finally realized that cupcake talk had to be postponed, our cupcake lala land had come to an abrupt end as we were forced back into reality.
That was a week ago today. Since that time I had to evacuate my 4 kids from their home a second time in 6 months. I have 2 dogs that were completely freaking out, as they were barely saved from the last fire. I have a partner going out her mind and wondering why she moved here from Minneapolis, where sure they have 6 feet of snow, but these fires are insane. I had to shut my doors at my restaurant for 2 days, wondering if it would still be there the next time I saw it. And everyone I know so worried about their family, friends and loved ones.
But so far, the only injuries have been to those who have once again been our heroes, the Firefighters. How brave. How amazing. I know if anyone deserves a little cupcake lala land, its them. Me, my kids and my employees have been diligent in spreading some of our lovely and delicious cupcakes to them and to those working around the city so that even just for a moment they can taste a little lala, even if they do have to come back to reality a little quicker then the rest of us. Even as I sit here typing this, I can hear them outside, their sirens racing up the street, their helicopters swirling overhead. Thank you. Thank you for all you do. And when you are ready to come back in to visit us at Crushcakes (and I know you will because you always do) it will be our turn to take care of you!
peace.love.food.
SL
There is not much privacy at Crushcakes or the Cafe for contemplative thought. There is essentially no private place to just sit and think through serious issues that can sometimes come up on a daily basis. How do I go about letting this employee go without causing too much drama? How do I make this schedule work so that everyone gets enough shifts and there isn’t mass mutiny? What should be the new summer cupcake specials? What should I have for lunch today…I mean very serious issues…
Every time I go into my office with the intent of actually getting something done, that’s when I hear the most widely said statement of the day, “Shannon, someone is here to see you”, and most times, this person who has interrupted my serious thought process has turned out to be a salesman trying to sell ad space in a magazine I have never heard of or a new vendor trying to sell me stuff I don’t need or a friend of a friend of a family member who is expecting a discount on their kids birthday cupcakes. And they must have a special flavor cupcake we will make especially for them with custom hand frosted fairies and princesses and butterflies and, of course, that discount.
When I really need some quiet time to think through a complicated issue, I have found a new place that no one can get to me. It seems to be the one space that is off limits to interruption. Where no one will pull me away insisting I pay their back due invoices or try to sell me their latest product. Where no one will come demanding I talk to someone up front who wants to discuss a donation of food or money for their fund raising event. My one and only private space is the bathroom. Lucky for me, and unlucky for my patrons and employees, our bathroom is one big room that locks for just one persons use. It is roomy enough to sit and contemplate the millions of thoughts traveling through my head. Going through my Blackberry reviewing all the missed calls, texts and emails. Allowing myself the time to calmly return messages without being interrupted mid sentence.
Our bathroom has a nice window allowing for fresh air and bright sunlight. It has a comfortable seat to sit on, a cool breeze lapping at my neck. There is really no reason to leave. Except that I start hearing feet shuffling nervously outside the door. A tap tap tap on the door. The knob giggling anxiously. Someone outside asking an employee, “Is there someone in there or is the door just locked from the inside??? Do you have a key so that we can get in?” No, they don’t. I planned it that way.
It is usually about that time that I know I need to come out and rejoin the rest of the world. Its ok, I have had my break, a little bit of alone time, I am ready to face the next person who comes calling looking free cupcakes or has a bill I need to pay. So now you know, if you ever receive an email from me midday that comes from my Blackberry, I am also most likely sitting on my favorite chair in the cafe bathroom…
peace.love.food.
SL