crushblog

Have you ever thought about what is in your cupcake?  Maybe you don’t really care, I mean it is a cupcake after all, aren’t you supposed to just enjoy the moment, the pleasure, the sugary deliciousness…Well from time to time I am actually asked about our nutritional facts.  I usually respond with, “Do you really want to know??”  And yes, they do.  So I am working on it, but in the mean time, I thought I would put your mind at ease with these simple facts about Crushcakes Cupcakes.  We DO NOT use a boxed cake mix for any of our cupcakes.  Talk about “cupcake wars”, I would put any other local cupcake store up to the challenge of telling you that they do not use boxed cake mix in their cupcakes.  I would even go so far as to bet $100 on the fact that they do.  And that is not a slight against them, as I am sure most cupcakeries and bakeries do use boxed cake mix.  I think we are in the minority.  It is a good deal more time consuming, difficult, and expensive to make cakes and cupcakes completely from scratch.  Its just kind of appalling to me that they get away with charging you more for their cupcakes while using a boxed cake mix…

Here is another fun fact about Crushcakes, there is nothing artificial in any of our cupcakes, except the red velvet (red food color) and the peace cake (a rainbow of food colors).  Our cupcakes are made with harvest wheat, unbleached flour, real vanilla beans, melted Callebeaut chocolate, unsalted butter, whole milk, sugar, pureed strawberries, fresh squeezed lemon juice, real coconut extract, etc.  And, there  is no high fructose corn syrup allowed in the building!!! Ask Montecito about that little diddy…

My baker recently wanted to make a pumpkin pie for our cafe.  When she told me the list of ingredients she needed, corn syrup was on the list.  I entertained the thought for about 2 seconds, until I looked at the list ingredients on the back of the Karo Corn Syrup bottle, “corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, salt…”  Nope, I told her, can you please find an alternative to the corn syrup, I just can’t do it!

And have you ever noticed that most bakeries have big walls and doors that separate you, the customer, from the mystery that is going on inside their kitchen?  Not so here at Crushcakes.  We have a completely open kitchen here so you can see what we are doing at all times!  So guys and gals, put your own local cupcakeries and bakeries to the test, see if they will let you take a look inside their kitchen and check out what’s really going inside your little treats.  Because here at Crushcakes, you can come take a look right from the counter anytime!  So next time you are digging in to your yummy Crushcake, remember what Bill Cosby said, “Eggs, milk, and wheat in the chocolate cake.  Oh goody!  That’s nutrition!”

peace.love.food.

SN

I am not a crier.  I did not cry after my divorce.  I did not cry after my last break up.  I did not cry when I found out my mother had breast cancer.  And its not that I am cold-hearted or do not feel emotion, because trust me, I feel it.  I feel everything and will obsess about it ad nauseum.  Its just that my emotions tend to manifest with me in different ways,  I will tattoo myself, I will work out like a mad woman, I will write, I will eat, I will shop (designer jeans are my weakness). But this week I have had moments where I feel tears coming on spontaneously throughout the day, while talking to a customer, during a meeting with my bookkeeper, shopping at Trader Joes…just going about life feeling like a flood is about to come.  And I had no idea why, it wasn’t like anything really major was going on in my life, no one I know is hurt or ill, business is good, my ex and I are actually getting along well for the first time in years, so what is this babbling brook about?  Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, Jasmine is gone.

Jasmine is officially titled my Store Manager.  But that is a ridiculous title because it says nothing about what she really does.  This is actually what her title should be…my right hand, the reason I can breathe at night, my confidant, my therapist, my drinking buddy, my partner, my best friend.   Jasmine has been with me since the very conception of Crushcakes.  She assisted me from beginning to end to bring my dream to fruition. We used to meet at the Coffee Cat almost daily for months before we opened to discuss ideas, strategize, create, and imagine all of the possibilities.   She has listened to all of my crazy thoughts and often had to bring me back to reality.  Without her I am certain Crushcakes would not be what it is today.  And then we came up with the idea of Crushcafe and together we made that happen, despite a crazy economic downturn and fires tearing through our city, our passion got us up and running and sustainable.  I cannot tell you the satisfaction of having an idea and then having the ability to make it happen.  And with someone who gets you, I mean really gets you.  Do you know how rare that is??

And despite my every effort to keep her by my side forever, she has left me.  I don’t think she wanted to leave me so much as she felt a stronger need to go back to her home and friends and family in LA.  I knew this was coming for months, it wasn’t like it was a spontaneous decision.  But what I wasn’t ready for was the emptiness and loneliness that would follow upon her departure.  And my complete and total realization of what she means to me and how fortunate I am to have her in my life.

But here is the deal, I am a Scorpio and I like to get what I want, no matter how hard I have to work in order to get it.  And I what I want right now is to have Jasmine remain in my life.   I have been working diligently to convince her to open anther Crushcakes & Cafe down south.  So stay tuned dear customers, you never know what may happen, especially with a crazy Scorpio at the wheel!!

peace.love.food.

SN

PS – Here is a little fun fact about Jasmine.  Her legacy will live on forever at Crushcakes & Cafe…. Jasmine is solely responsible for the delicious Red Velvet Pancakes we now serve at Crushcafe! I cannot take one ounce of credit for that amazing creation!!!

Cupcakes are truly magical.  If you don’t believe me yet, I have more proof…I’m not sure if you remember back a few months ago when I shared with you an amazing experience I had just by bringing a box of cupcakes with me to a 4th of July party.  I entered into instant stardom at that party.  Was Miss Popular and then some.  People were scrambling to talk to me.   Well now I am here to tell you that I have transcended the stardom status and have reached ecstasy with just another box of Crushcakes…

Earlier this summer I re-entered the dating world after a tough break up.  Being single was a transition for me so it was something I wanted to take slowly.  I had a couple of awkward dates, a few note-worthy encounters and some interesting evenings of adult entertainment, but overall, no one special entered into my life except my girls.  My friends.  Amazing, supportive and always there when I needed them, we had a fantastic summer!  But by Labor Day weekend, I was finally feeling ready to put myself back out there.  And it is funny how life works because within a week of realizing this, a beautiful man entered into my life, well not so much as entered but was called in on duty.

This day was one of those rare days in Santa Barbara when it was so hot you wish you could close your windows to the ocean breeze and quickly install an air conditioner.  During this time one of our customers was experiencing a situation and a professional was called in to assist him.  As I walked out of the kitchen to check on things, the boy that met my eyes stopped me dead.  I actually ceased breathing and completely forgot where I was for a moment.  The only thing going through my brain was, ”I didn’t know they made guys this good looking in Santa Barbara…”  I could think of nothing to say but continued to stand there looking like an idiot.   This bit of wisdom finally escaped my lips, “UUUhhhmmm….its really hot today…”   Now, this is very rare for me, as I can always think of something witty to say in any given situation, just ask my kids about my famous Bar Mitzvah/condom comment… twin boys going into manhood, someone needed to say it….ok I digress…

“Its really hot today” was as far as our conversation went that day,  but I did make note to remember the company he worked for.  And it seemed appropriate to send him cupcakes the next day to thank him for his hard work and timeliness in assisting our customer.   Oh yeah, and I may have left a note on the box that went something like, “If you need some sugar come visit me at Crushcakes…” Too much?  Come on, this is me in my (late) 30’s trying to get out there, competing with a lot of hot girls in this town, I have to use what I got.  And I got cupcakes so there.   And how did this all work out for me?  Well, lets just say the cupcakes were a hit!

So girls and boys, what have we learned today?  Cupcakes are not just a delicious treat, but an amazing and effective way to say, “Hey, I kinda dig you” or “Happy Birthday” or “Hope you get well soon” or “I love you”,  or simply, “I’d like to get to know you better…”  Try it for yourself and I’ll just bet Crushcakes will bring you your own magical moments.

peace.love.food.

SN

So we try to accommodate our customers here at Crushcakes.  We have done Dr. Seuss cakes, martinis, waves, sport teams, sharks, monkeys, lions, dogs, princesses, mushrooms, company logos, proposal cakes,  you name it, we have probably done it.  But here is something that you probably don’t know that we do from time to time…we do x-rated cakes.  I decided to write about it now because of the large black penis cake we recently made which got a lot of public attention.  This is a small town and I know how fast things get around, so I figured I  would do my best to get out in front of the gossip!

This is not a service we really go out and advertise.  When we make these custom cakes its when one of two things happen, someone calls and very shyly asks something like, “I am planning a bachelorette party for my friend, is there anything…uuhhhmmm…special you can do?”  Or we get someone who knows exactly what they want, “Yes my partner and I are getting married, can you make us a big cake with 2 naked girls on it? Oh yea, and we would like one to have brown short hair with BIG boobs and the other to have long blonde hair with smaller boobs.  And they should both have hairy bushes!”  And yes, that did happen.  Like I said, we do our best to accommodate…

The funniest thing about the x-rated cakes is watching Monk make them, he gets so embarrassed every time.  He can’t even do it in the middle of the kitchen where he normally works but takes his cake into the corner to decorate it.   Then he usually covers his work space with pans so that nobody can see what he is doing…but we all know.  And we usually start going over there one at a time to look at it and then harass him, ” Hey Monk, I think that should be BIGGER!” Or , “I dont think that is the right color, maybe a little darker???”  He loves that.

Another hilarious thing about the x-rated cake is taking the order for it and working with the customer to ensure we get it right.  We try to be as specific as possible.  Here is kind of how the questioning goes while taking an order for a penis cake:

1.  What color skin do you prefer…light peach, medium or dark skinned?

2.  How big do you want it?

3.  Balls or no?

4.  Do you prefer chocolate curls or straight chocolate sprinkles on those?

5.  Anything escaping from the tip?  (that one always makes the shy girl stop for a moment and think)

So now you have a little inside info on Crushcakes.  What you do with it is up to you…but don’t you worry girls, that penis cake is going to taste delicious going down!!!

peace.love.food.

SN

I recently received an email which started out a little something like this, “I am a regular customer and I come into Crushcakes all of the time.  But I just wanted to let you know that…”  I have been in the restaurant business long enough to know that whatever is going to follow that sentence is not going to be good.  I see that sentence coming and I always have the same thought running through my head, “Just stop reading now, just stop reading, there is no reason to go any further, stop, stop, no stop…ahhh, too late, I saw it.”  There are only two reasons why a customer will go through the trouble of sending the owner an email like this, one, they really do care about your business and they are sharing their little gem of wisdom with in you in hopes that your business will remain successful, or two, and this is more likely the case, they are looking for something free.  Gratis.  Bonus.  Gifty.  Something they can get from you because their experience wasn’t what they thought it should be.  And that’s ok, I’ve done it.  You know you have done it.  We all like to get a little something free once in awhile, so no skin off our nose to lodge a complaint in hopes that it might actually happen.

But this email was different.  It felt genuine, like she really did care and truly wanted me to know her thoughts about our cupcakes in hopes it just might make a difference.  And its the complaint I hate to hear the most…the crushcake is dry.  And its always the crushcake.  Our signature cake!!!  I do not know what to do with that.  It makes me want to beat my head against the wall.  We have worked on this cake recipe almost continually since we opened.  We have changed the recipe at least a dozen times.  I have even considered doing something so against my every fiber which was to add shortening or oil or worse even, try a boxed cake mix.  No, never, I would take it off the menu first!  So here is my usual procedure when I hear this complaint.  First I run into the kitchen like a maniac and begin tearing through every cupcake.  I taste every flavor, not just the red velvet.  One bite is all I need to know if it is acceptable or not.  By the end of my rampage there is usually a huge pile of half eaten cupcakes on the table next to me and I just sit and stare at them, feeling myself falling into the 3 stages of cupcake depression…

Stage 1 -  Anger.  Why didn’t the bakers get these cupcakes right?  Don’t they understand this is my business, my baby, my everything, why are they sabotaging me like this?

Stage 2 – Denial.   No, this did not just happen.  These cupcakes are perfect and the customer doesn’t know what they are talking about.  We are perfect and why doesn’t everyone understand that our cupcakes are the best on earth???

Stage 3 – Sadness.  Why did I let this happen?  How could I let my customers down?  Why cant I do better?  I thought I did my best, but I guess that just wasn’t good enough.  Why does everyone hate me???

Then the sugar rush kicks in from the 9 cupcakes I just ate and life is good once again…. That is until I realize I have to respond to the email.  And I never know what to say to this.  I mean, if someone tells me they don’t like onions, “well sir, lets get you a new sandwich”… or we forgot the extra mayo you wanted? “Well Ill be right back with that!”  But what to say to “your crushcake was dry”…hmmm, how about “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but its 100 degrees out today?  Its amazing my bakers haven’t passed out from heat exhaustion from making your scratch made treats so just feel lucky you even got a cupcake today!”  Or…”hey, we cant get it right every day, sorry!”  No neither are acceptable, so I usually blunder out something apologetic inviting them to please come back again or offering to get them another on the house.

But this time was different.  I really heard what this customer had to say.  I did not do my maniacal I-must-try-every-cupcake-to-prove-them-wrong bit.  No, I calmly told Monk about the situation and we discussed ideas to improve our red velvet.  Here is the worst part of the story though.  Rosie was not there at the time, so Monk and I had to retell her the whole story the next day.  The thing about Rosie is, this is what she does for a living.  This is her career, not just a job.  She makes the best baked goods that can be made.  And she takes more pride in what she does beyond any I have ever met.  So to watch her first hand go through her own cupcake depression was painful.

Her first stage was sadness (I thought surely she was going to cry) followed by frustration at herself, ending with anger as she stomped over to the cupcake rack and biting right into a red velvet.  Witnessing somebody else go though it made me feel so bad, I just wanted to take it all back, “Just kidding, ha ha! No these are the best damn cupcakes ever!  We were just fooling around!”  But too late, it was out.  And now we had to do something about it.  And damn if we did.  Today I came in to Rosie calmly presenting me with a new and improved red velvet cupcake, topped with our famous sour cream frosting.  She had total poker face too.  Before I dug in, I looked her square in the eyes and asked, “What do you think?”  Nothing, she just waited…

So I am here to tell you, our Crushcake is the bomb!  Better then candy.  Better then ice cream.  Better then frozen yogurt…yes, I said it!  Rosie did it, she created the best scratch made red velvet cupcake ever.  So now you be the judge, I’m ready, I can take it.  Because if you send me an email after this, well there is no doubt about it, you are just asking for something free!

peace.love.food.

SN