Every day is new and exciting at Crushcakes and of course Halloween is no different! We work hard but always make time for play!!!
Last week I posted a want ad on craigslist for one part time counter position. One part time position. By the time I took the posting down, merely 5 days later, I had received over 100 applications and/or resumes. A clear indicator of the current economy… At any rate, I always dread the application and interview process and am very relieved when it is over. It is so incredibly draining.
When you have an open position at a restaurant, it is quite different then in most other industries. People can just walk in at any time and ask to see the manager or owner and, as part of our business, we have to oblige. And there is no hiding in an office because any one over 5′2″ can see directly into mine. So during lunch time, for example, when I have a long line of paying customers, a potential candidate can walk up, ask to see a manager, want to discuss the open position, and I have to send them on their way asking them to return later if they really want the job. But this has just taken up 5 valuable minutes while we are completely slammed. If you can’t see what you are interrupting, then off you go… This used to happen so often that I built a test into my want ad. It says specifically, ”Please come in with your resume before 11am and after 2pm”. Anyone who comes in after 11am and before 2pm, well they have just failed the first and only test for them. No need to move forward.
If they come in during the designated times, and have brought a resume, and it looks applicable to the job, then I might spend a few minutes talking to them in order to weed out the ones that just look good on paper. I may ask a few questions about themselves and why they are interested in the position. What days and times they are available. Are they willing to work every weekend during their entire employment with us? Here is what usually does not work for me. “I am in a sorority so I am busy almost every weekend…” You are so cute but no. I need you on weekends so I don’t have to work. Or “I have a night job that requires me to work late Friday and Saturday nights so I really can’t work mornings.” Can you say Spearmint Rhino?? Or, “I have kids, can I bring them to work with me? I mean it is a cupcake shop.” I have 4 kids as well, do you see any of them here???
So once they get past the initial meet and greet, then I schedule the “official” interview. Here is one thing I love in an interview, the candidate comes in wearing shorts, a tank top and flip flops. Really? I know this is Santa Barbara but come on. They may get one courtesy question then its adios. Or how about the opposite, people coming in for an interview for a part time cafe cashier position while wearing a suit. Ok, they may get the full line of questioning, but the last one is always, “How would do you feel about busing tables, washing dishes and cleaning the bathroom as part of your job? Is that going to be a problem for you?” Sometimes its fine, others just give me a blank look that says, “Seriously?”
But the most difficult one for me is this. I have not really found a…lets just say, politically correct way to ask, “How do you feel about working in an environment that can be raunchy, sexually explicit, inappropriate language flung about, and where open discussion about your dating life is expected?” One time I asked a candidate, “How do you feel about bad language being used from time to time in the kitchen?” and the person replied, “I think they will get to know me and understand not to use that kind of language around me”. Ok thats fine, but then she went on to say, “And I find that with my evangelical way of living, people around me seem to learn that speaking that way is no longer necessary in their lives…” Yes thats true, but its just so fun!
So now I have discovered a new way to get to know my possible new employee and if they will work well here. I ask, ”How would you feel about taking an order for an x-rated adult cake?” They respond with, “Can you please give me an example of what you mean by x-rated cake?” And I say, “Well yes I can as a matter of fact I can.” It is then that I will whip out our little black book which contains photos Facebook made me take down… pictures of our big black penis cake, our boobie cake, our lesbian cake and more. Then I just sit back and watch their reaction. That tells me all I need to know.
So now you know what our employees had to go through to earn their positions here. But the thing is, I think that’s why we all work so well together, we all have these crazy things in common that make us a perfect, but slightly dysfunctional, family. But what family isn’t right???
peace.love.food.
SN
I have to recant my previous statement about love… true love does continue to thrive despite my thoughts to the contrary. I think I said in my last posting that I did not know anyone currently happy in love. But today I met a couple that proved me wrong. I went in to work this morning, although it was a Sunday and I tend to desire a day off once in awhile. But lets face it, I really had no place else to go, nothing to keep me occupied but a pile of laundry, and where else am I going to get such good coffee???
It was a cloudy day and the cafe starting filling up. Every table was heavy with plates filled with pancakes, quiches, pumpkin spice lattes, toast and jam, homemade scones. Crowds of people were packed around tables meant for two, smiling happily as they enjoyed their breakfast delights. My employees were rushing by, squeezing past, trying to deliver silverware, extra napkins, hot sauce. And amongst it all, one couple sat in the middle completely oblivious to the chaos. When I brought their food to them they barely looked up. Their eyes were locked on each other, hands held tightly, quiet whispering back and forth, slight nods of the head, soft smiles on their faces. They were like that the entire time they were in there. I’m not even sure how they ate their food.
There was a moment when I walked towards them with the intention of asking if they needed anything. But nothing came out, I just sat and stared. I was so taken in by their love. True love. Not lust. Not the look of, “I just want you for a hook up”. But a look that meant you are everything to me. You are all I need in this world. And I realized in that moment how badly I want that. No amount of money or success or accomplishment or cars or clothes or big homes can bring you that feeling. A knowledge that nothing matters more to you in this life then another person. And having that certainty that another person loves you. Cares about you. Is concerned about your day. Likes to hear your silly stories. Finds the meals you ate that day interesting conversation. Doesn’t mind that you slurp your tea or wear big baggy pjs. Loves your quirkiness. Can enjoy food without worrying about how much you will have to work out the next day because you feel guilty. Loves to hold you when times are tough. Makes you feel safe enough to show weakness. Will assure you everything will be fine because you will always have each other, no matter what.
I have attained a great deal in my life. I have amazing kids and family and friends. I own a home. I have created a successful business. I have college degrees, designer clothes, a nice car, furniture, vacations, jacuzzi, bike, dogs, a new washer and dryer. And I am thankful. Very thankful..but I would trade it all in (except my kids of course!) for that love, the love where nothing else matters. The love that you would change for. The love that you would die without. The love that you would cry over if you thought you were going to lose it, if even for a moment.
I had dinner with a friend of mine yesterday. He tells me he is done with love forever. He has been too hurt, he cannot do it anymore. But meanwhile, I sat looking at years and years of his past photo albums. Pictures of a sweet and innocent boy in love. Time and time again, him with his arms around another, looking so happy, so content, so complete. How do we loose that innocence? That sweetness? That longing desire to be with another? But more importantly, how do we get it back? The willingness to open up to another human being so completely that the chance of finding that deep passionate love out weighs the possibility of pain…
I am not ready to give up yet.
peace.love.food.
SN
I often tell people that the name Crushcakes came from my passion and love for food. But recently it feels as if we are a little short on love around here. There is not one person in my life who is currently happily in love. Here is a little snapshot of whats going on…
Monk and his girlfriend recently split up. He is struggling because I know he really loves her but he can’t seem to find a way to make things right with her. I keep trying to give him ideas of ways he can try to repair the damage, but it never fails, he comes back in to work the next day and it seems he has made the problem worse. “Did you bring her cupcakes?” I always ask. That’s a great ice breaker….no one can be mad at you while you are handing them a box of cupcakes. “No, I forgot…” he says sadly.
Emma and her boyfriend also just ended things. He was becoming a sort of stalker, showing up at her house uninvited late in the evenings and early in the morning. It was so bad she felt she had to hide within her own house so he couldn’t see her through a window. I think she finally ended things after he sent her a slew of crazy texts on her birthday of all days.
One of the Crushcakes girls (who I promised I would keep anonymous) decided to be bold last week and left her phone number in a customers to go box. It didn’t really work out in her favor but you have to applaud the effort. She was horrified about what she had done and later spilled the beans to her mother. Her mom’s response still makes me laugh, “Oh don’t worry dear”, she said, “You’re not the first girl who has whored herself out in order to get a date. You might have well just wrapped up your vagina and handed it to him in that box!”
This week I received the strangest call from someone I have corresponded with on Match. My friends and I jokingly call him “Mr. Love Gun” for reasons I have to leave to your imagination. I haven’t spoken with him in quite some time but he was calling to break up with me. Thats funny, I thought, considering we have not even met yet. We have emailed each other and talked a bit over the phone, but that was it. There was never a strong enough connection for me to actually commit to a date. But in his mind there was more and I was not meeting his expectations. Oh well, another one bites the dust…
Jasmine and I are both attempting the dating scene but it is incredibly time consuming, emotional and draining. Now I am a very secure person with who I am and what I have to offer. And I have recently realized that life is too short and you just have to risk it and put yourself out there. But there is a whole new set of problems when you do that….you start second guessing yourself after every encounter such as, did I say too much? Was I too assertive? Am I scaring him away right this very minute? And its almost as if you need to have this tough-as-nails attitude if you are going to date because you have to be able to take rejection anytime and be OK with it. Last night I had a very long discussion with a friend of mine about the rules of dating. This happens to be the one area in my life I feel like I am failing at so I needed some gems, some hints, some tips on how to get better at the dating game. He assured me that I don’t have to “play the game” and being myself is fine, but I don’t necessarily have to be an open book on the first date either. He actually laughed out loud when I told him I thought I scared someone away when I told him on our first date that I used to date a girl. “Well that wouldn’t scare me away!” He said. “Yes, but you are not the norm”, I replied, “You would probably be turned on by that!” So that may be one of those tidbits of information I hold back on until after a few dates.
But that brings me to a whole new problem that has just reared its ugly head. I recently met someone who told me before we had even gone on a date that he had read my blog. Wow, well you now know more about me then I could have told you on the first 5 dates. And you still want to go out with me??? I spent an entire evening after that reading all of my blog postings and considered for a minute taking it all down. Then I thought, “Hey, this is a good way to weed people out, see if they are strong enough to handle me before we waste anyone’s time!”
So when is all of that love I remember so fondly going to come back around? A recent horoscope of mine said that I should be patient, no tattooing anyone’s name on my body just yet, but it said maybe in November. Hmmm, interesting, as Jasmine and I were out last weekend and she just randomly looked at me and stated very seriously, “I have a feeling we are going to have really amazing birthdays this year!” And we are both November babies. Ok, we will see, and I’m sure I will keep you in the loop as always!
peace.love.food.
SN