I recently got a comment on one of my blog entries that made me stop and think, “Is this mysterious person someone I dated or a previous employee?” The comment was referring to my new “star” employee and what a life savior she has been for me. The anonymous writer said something like, “Yeah, its all peace and love until she does some small thing that you don’t like. Then off she goes and you’ll move on to the next one.” Like a said, previous lover or employee???
The thing is, when you fire someone, much like ending a relationship, it is a very delicate situation. How honest do you want to be? Do you want to tell them the truth and crush their little heart even further? Or do you want to ease the blow with some niceties and bullshit? There is no easy way, unless they are aware that things have been going tragically wrong and are expecting it. But even then, there is drama in the realization that their biggest fear is actually happening.
So here are the 3 ways a termination can go with me:
1) Honesty – I ask you to come into my office, tell you exactly why I am firing you, you cry, I hand you your final check, and off you go. This is the, “Its over. I no longer love you, we are through” approach.
2) Softened Blow – I call you on the phone, tell you something like, “I’m sorry but I just don’t have enough shifts to offer you any longer” or “I need someone who can work weekdays and you are only available to work weekends”, you say I understand and I’ll come pick up my check. And we both move on. This is the “Its not you, its me” routine.
3) Write off – This one I usually reserve for people who have been working here for awhile. Its not a technique we are proud of but many people in the restaurant business do it. Its used most often for someone you no longer want to employ but you don’t have the nerve to tell them. This is either because you still like them or you have gotten too close to them or they have been working there so long that you don’t know how else to get rid of them. So you just start widdeling down their shifts, slowly over time, until they are down to just one shift a week. One 3 hour shift. And it is your hope that they will finally get a clue on their own and go off and find another job. This is the, “I’m busy, I can’t see you. Very busy. Yes, busy every night…” bit.
I have tried all 3 of these methods and I am here to tell you, not one is any better or more effective then the other. They are all equally difficult and emotional. When you tell the truth, you are opening up an entire can of worms to be dissected, inspected and argued over. And you must be ready with back up data which includes specific dates and times of when events occurred. The key here is accuracy, otherwise your entire can of worms will be crushed in one fail swoop.
When you bullshit your way through a termination, well, that is harder to argue over, as there are no specific facts to debate. This is usually my preferred method, as I figure why be truthful with something like, “You were too shy, you could barely talk to customers” or, “I’m not sure how to explain the many reasons good hygiene is important” or, “Why did you think it was ok to steal cash from the drawer?” Now maybe you are thinking, Shannon, why don’t you tell them to truth so that you can help them improve as employees and help out future employers? Well, in all honesty, I have tried to be truthful and it is just way more painful. Lying is just easier all around, believe me. Try telling someone who is sitting across from you, tears already in their eyes, in the middle of a small open office, after every other staff member already witnessed them being called in, that you have to let them go because of repeated customer complaints. Then go into detail about each complaint. It is beyond hard. Lying is just easier. Simpler. But sometimes that one will come back to bite you. There is no worse wrath then that of an angry woman who finds out she has been lied to…trust me on this one.
The moral of the story here is that there is no fool-proof and easy method of removing someone from your life. I have been stalked. I have been yelled at. I have been threatened. I have had lengthy irate emails sent to me. I have experienced crying, pleading, and promise of change. And its never easy, even if you are the “breaker upper”. I think about it a lot. I go to bed thinking about it and wake up in the morning still thinking the same thought, “Oh no, I have to fire someone today.” But some times it just has to be done. When the small things add up, the bigger thing becomes in jeopardy. And that bigger thing is what keeps me up at night.
peace.love.food.
SN
I am so over the whole, “lets go around the table and say what we are thankful for” bullshit. I think I may have been traumatized by an experience I had last year doing this. My mom is always trying to come up with brilliant new ways of distracting my Republican uncle from instigating arguments with the crazy liberals. Last year, after Obama won, she was scared to death about how the dinner table conversation was going to go for Thanksgiving. She planned the “what are you thankful for?” discussion to begin practically the minute the turkey hit the plates. She also put me, the most obviously crazy liberal of the group, last at the table so that I would not have a chance to say anything inappropriate, at least not until we had more wine in us. What she didn’t know was that my sister-in-law was going to come out of the gate with, “I am so thankful that Americans finally woke up and elected the first black president, Obama!” I started chuckling into my wine, this was not going to go as planned. Not at all. It went that way all the way around until my uncle. He was thankful for Palin and for her valiant effort and hard work. He went on to announce that it wouldn’t be until 2012 that the country would be restored to its rightful place in the world when “B.O.” would be kicked out of office. Then Palin would take her rightful place in the White House! I think I spit out my wine out at that point.
So I am going to say my thanks in my own way this year. I am so incredibly thankful to all of my amazing customers and staff who have kept me afloat during one of the most difficult economic times in our history. It is because of you that I can do what I love everyday. It is because of you that my passion for cupcakes and delicious food gets to be my world every day. It is because of you that I spend my time with the coolest people on earth every single day. It is because of you that I have a roof over my head, meals on my table, clothes on my children’s backs and a smile on my face. Thank you. Everyday I thank you.
peace.love.food.
SN
Lately I have found myself trying to figure out what I did to create that day of perfection. How did I do my hair? I must use that same exact product! How did I drive to work that day? I must follow that same route! What specials did we serve at the cafe? We will only offer those from now on! What staff worked that day? I will only schedule those people to work now and forever!!!
No, it was more like something in the air. A changing moon. A star alignment. A universal shift. It was almost as if I could do no wrong that day. I could feel it through to the deepest center of my core, I could do whatever I wanted and I would succeed. Now the question which begs for an answer is, why on this green earth didn’t I use that power for more? Why didn’t I use it to accomplish all the good and evil I have been scheming for? Why didn’t I go out and find my birthday wish (and no, I cant tell you what that is because then it wont come true!). Why didn’t I hop on a plane to Vegas? Or at the very least take a drive to the Chumash???
Here is what I did do on that day. I went to go look at a spot for another location for Crushcakes & the Cafe. The owners of the building solicited me. They wanted me in that space. Thought I would be a great fit. Would work with me on the rent and the build out expenses. A very unique surrounding with an amazing vibe. All sounds perfect, right, except for one thing. The area is beyond conservative. I had heard this before but was hoping it was just a rumor.
This is how the conversation went with the property owner and myself:
Me – “I hear this area is pretty conservative.”
Owner – “Ummmmm, a bit.”
Me – “Would you say that the majority of the locals here are Republicans?”
Owner – “Yes.”
Me – “I am trying to identify how I will be accepted in this community as a business owner. Can you tell me more about the people who live and work around here?”
Owner – “Yes, they are conservative but they are very open to more business growth because the surrounding areas are so limiting.”
Me – “So here is my concern. My motto is, “Make Cupcakes Not War”. How do you think that will play out in this area? And with the locals?”
Owner – “You can change your motto. You can create a new one.”
No actually, I can’t. Because this is who I am. This is what my business is about. We are peace loving people that would proudly shout from the roof tops, “Make cupcakes, not guns!” “Support family businesses, not big corporations!” “Give up your gas guzzlers, buy a bike!” “Love one another, not your bank accounts!” I can’t change who I am and the very essence of my business just to make more money. That is the primary thing that really gets under my skin about most republicans, what they will do and what they will sacrifice simply for money and power. I am not willing to give up all that I am just to make a pile of cash. Shit, I could be making more money now if I really wanted to. I don’t have to purchase only compostable and recyclable to-go boxes, but I do. I don’t have to buy only local produce, but I do. I don’t have to donate cupcakes and baked goods every day to the battered women’s shelter, Aids hospice, and homeless shelter, but I do. Is that money directly out of my pocket? Of course! But I will continue to do my part, even if it is that small. I have to, I live here. I love it here. This is my home. It is important to me and to the survival of everything that matters most.
So I guess the search goes on for the next perfect space. Stay true and perfection will follow… maybe that’s what I did that day???
peace.love.food.
SN
The week started completely chaotically, as Mondays often do. I had not one but two employees call in sick leaving me to work the cafe all by my lonesome. It got so busy that I started getting the sad face of empathy from both customers and my kitchen staff. At one point Albie (also known as My Golden Boy in the kitchen) looked up at me from the other side of the line and said, “Is there anything I can do for you Patrona?” So cute and sweet, if only he was 10 years older…
And so it continued that way, Tuesday another one called in, Wednesday another, all the way through until today. I was so frustrated by the middle of the week with my staff that I was wishing I could fire them all and start over. One poor girl really took the brunt of it when she called to tell me she would not be coming in that day. I hissed back, “Well, you will be lucky if you still have a job tomorrow! Do you know what this market is like??? I have already hired a replacement for you!” And I meant it…
One day in the middle of a break down moment, in walked my angel, my savior, my rock star. She came in to apply for a job and I nearly fell over myself trying to not look too excited and hire her on the spot. I waited a full 24 hours and hired her the next day and I was instantly in love (well not sure if I’m ready to cross that bridge again but maybe for her…hahahaha). So Star is seriously the best hire I have made in a long time. Between Lost, Plain Jane, Brain Gone Missing, and Close Talker, I guess its not saying much but is true nonetheless.
Yesterday Star worked and it was a day of near perfection. Listen, I am not one of those people who have those kind of days. My days are usually wrought with a lot of things, drama, worry, anxiety, tension, concern, annoyance, dissapointment, excitement, sadness, happiness, joy, stress, but never perfection. It was smooth, I was on time to appointments, food came out quickly and beautifully, long time problems were finally solved and people were happy. Damn, I should have played the lottery!!! Oh well, one day of perfection was worth more then money!
peace.love.food.
SN
Despite tough times, a hard economy, 2 wars raging, love continues to grow strong. People truly, madly and deeply committed to each other…at least enough so to be getting married anyway!!
Its mayhem today here at Crushcakes, we are in the midst of baking cupcakes for 3 weddings and a busy store. The phone continues to ring with customers anxiously hoping for last minute cupcakes for birthdays, football events, dinner parties and more. Frustrated with the fact that we can’t make their last minute pull-apart-cake with a Thomas the train streaking past in flashy black and silver frosting desperate to have it ready within an hour of their call. “We make these cakes fresh, from scratch. I need at least 3 hours to have it baked, cooled then custom frosted with your design, while we continue on making 1000 cupcakes for all of the others that had the good sense to call well before one hour of their event!” In the middle of it, our cafe continues to be packed with loyal customers who continue to tell me they would rather come here then anywhere else and have become addicted to our Mayan Mochas. “Yes, me too!” I say, the only problem is, every time I finally make it over for a sip, its gotten cold again!
So that’s my day, but its OK, because I do love it so! I would much rather have this crazy chaos any day! I get off on it. Its my drug of choice. Its my deepest, most passionate, truest love. This place.
peace.love.food.
SN
So there is about a 50/50 chance you will make it here even once you are hired. I wish I could find the magical question that would tell me which ones will work out and which ones won’t. How to weed out the ones that won’t fit in before they are even hired. The ones that know how to ace the interview but then show up on their first day and I find myself thinking, “Is that really the girl I hired?” Because this person standing here is not the one I remember interviewing at all. The person I met with was outgoing, interesting, energetic and seemed like she could find her way around a kitchen. Now I have a blob that I have to help shape into an effective member of our staff and lets face it, I don’t have time for that. I need employees who have the ability to figure out what might be a more productive use of their time other then standing in the middle of kitchen chaos paralyzed with fear. Fear of running food to a table, fear of greeting a guest, fear of cleaning a table…all things you told me you could do in the interview.
I have had more 1-day employees then can fill a filing cabinet drawer. Here is a sample of some of the things that have happened to earn those individuals spots in the terminated section:
- Your best friend shows up to visit you at work but proceeds to sit at a table across from the counter and talks to you during your entire 6 hour shift
- You wear shorts so short they could double as bathing suit bottoms
- You ask for a smoking break every 30 minutes but lie about it and say your just moving your car (its 90 minute parking people, not 30!)
- I catch you with your finger in the frosting bowl
- When a customer asks you about the cupcake flavors you take it upon yourself to make up random answers, then I get the call later from an irate customer angry because she was told that red velvet was cherry flavor
- You over charge a customer
- You under charge a customer
- You give away free food
- You give away a special order to the wrong customer that took the baker several hours to make and was prepaid for by someone else
- You are rude to a customer, to my employees, or to me
- Your boyfriend shows up in our kitchen, sits in the corner, trying to hide from me so that he can chat with you all shift long. By the time I finally ask him to leave, he and you are covered in flour and sugar…hmmmm…
- I find out your hoarding leftover food from our trash cans because you are actually homeless
- You come in so hung over on your first shift you have to run to the bathroom every 15 minutes
- You are shaking so hard that half the food spills out of the soup bowl before it gets to the table, creating trails of tomato basil all over the restaurant
- You tell me that you can’t eat any of our food because you are bulimic, then ask me for a hug after your first shift and tell me this is going to be a very therapeutic experience for you…to be surrounded by cupcakes all day….then you end up in the bathroom 5 minutes later….
- You are scared to talk to the customers
- You are scared to talk to me…really, am I that scary???
And yes, all of this has happened.
I have a Masters degree in Business Management and HR. I worked in Human Resources for several years where my primary function was recruitment and terminations. Its funny how things can come full circle. I left HR because every time I filled out a disciplinary action form, every time I sat in on meetings where we discussed how employees were not meeting expectations because they were not earning the company enough money, every time I laid off a mother of a family of children who were were counting on her for a home, food and insurance, I was dying a little bit inside. And now that I am here, working at my dream business, I am experiencing some feelings of dejavu…recruitment and termination.
I have often thought there could be a club of people in Santa Barbara somewhere who have all worked for me for just one day. Seriously, when I think about how many 1-dayers we have had here, there could be a football team of them awaiting their opportunity to rush me. An entire chorus of them walking around singing a “We hate Shannon” theme song. An army of them with weapons of mass destruction…Oh well, so be it. I’d rather have a hate club out there then have the wrong people in here.
We are a very close family, even if we can be slightly dysfunctional at times. And it takes a very unique person to fit in to our craziness, but once your in, I may never let you go. Just ask Jasmine, every time she leaves I drag her back in!! But the people I have working here, day in, day out, 6 to 7 days a week, they care about this place, about our customers, and about me, and that is invaluable. A friend just told me the other day, “Do you know how lucky you are that your staff actually want to be with you after work?” Yes, I know how lucky I am and I am thankful for it every day. Now, if only I could figure out that magical question to weed out the rest, well then, I’d be golden.
peace.love.food.
SN